Introducing my *Work from Home* Blog

Posted by Offer Tsuriel on September 13, 2009

More than 20 million Americans now work out of home offices, tethered to the rest of the world only by our modem cables. We chose this isolated way of life to escape tbe hassles of neckties and commuting and coworkers who snore.

The cost of working at home is high. We spend our days buried in paperwork, a phone to each ear, a child on each elbow, a dog humping one leg. We have many responsibilities and never enough time. We always seem to be driving somewhere, just as soon as we find our car keys. It’s a chaotic, haphazard, sticky-jelly-fingers way of life. And everyone I know wants to try it.

Women fought for centuries to escape the isolation of the house and get out into the parallel universe of careers and lawsuits and balloon loans. Now, they land their menl are fighting to go back home, where they can work by themselves.

 

A thorough examination of this societal shift reveals why perfectly sane adults abandon decent offices to spend all their time elbow-deep in dirty dishes. It’s the same reasoo that sociologists use to explain every cultural transition: It’s the Baby Boomers’ fault.

Among Baby Boomers, dual-career couples became the norm. At the same time, Boomers (who want it all) wanted to have children and a traditional home life like they saw on Leave it to Beaver.

Many couples concluded it was more efficient for one spouse to work at home.Their lives were already far too busy. Why not double up some of the demands? Surrounded by computers and fax machines and children and jelly sandwiches, the work-athorne spousc can maintain family values while still contributing to a high-technology economy.

At least that’s the cover story. In truth, telecommuting gives Baby Boomers a way to wear sweatpants all day.

Every day is Casual Friday when you work at horne. No, worse than that. Every day is a chore-filled Saturday, a time for old college T-shirts and mismatched socks and sturdy shoes to cushion aching feet as you race around the house, chasing pets and putting out fires. At home, you dress every day as if you’re about to do some work up on the roof.

Of course, the home-office trend goes far beyond mere sweatpants. Working at horne is all about freedom. We want to create our own work environments, set our own hours, produce at our own pace. We want Oprah breaks. We want to bake brownies during business hours and have them all eaten before the kids get horne from school.

Working at home means that:

• We can shape our own schedules. (Most folks find that the hour before lunch is a good time to actually do some work-unless a deadline is looming. Then, three o’clock in the morning looks pretty good, too.)
• We can cut the daily commute out of our lives so we can spend more time driving our children to soccer games.
• We can keep tidy houses while still functioning at our computers and fielding calls from headquarters. This is why most telecommuters have baskets of lalmdry next to their desks.

Women, with their multichannel brains and their cool efficiency, seem more suited to the daily maelstrom of mnning a business at home. But now millions of men have home offices and an estimated half-million identify themselves as househusb,mds. This nontraditional model poses a threat to an already unstable society and to all garments labeled “Dry Clean Only.”

Most Boomer men received no training in housework when they were growing up. Mom did everything. Now, in a middle-aged rebellion against the dreary workaday existence that ensnared our fathers, we’re becoming our mothers. And we’re simply not qualified.

Men used to be able to disguise their ineptitude, back when they trooped off to work and the women stayed home. We men seemed capable and aloof, out there in the trenches. Wives didn’t know that much of our workday was centered around the watercooler or that coworkers shook their heads sadly at the mention of our names. All the women kncw were whatever lies we told them, and that we brought home a paycheck each week.

Now, however, men are moving their jobs home, thanks to modern technology, flexible hours, and an economy that rolls right along-regardless of whether anyone shows up at the office. We y,)k on the phone, slurp French Roast, and swap e-mail jokes-generally accomplishing as little as we did before. Only now, we’re neglecting the housework as well as our corporate duties when we play Tetris at our desks.

A man might escape his employer’s scrutiny, but there’s no hiding the fact that he goofed off all day when the Little Woman comes home to the Big Mess.

Becoming a househusband is a big adjustment and requires men to think in new ways. For instance, it’s difficult for a man to concentrate on preparing a nutritious supper when ESPN is showing a twi-night doubleheader. It’s hard for a man to keep his self-respect when he’s down on his knees on a sodden carpet, staring into the business end of a toilet, a look of grim determination hiding the fact that he knows absolutely nothing about plumbing. And it’s hard to get any work done when children are running through the house, flicking boogers at each other and chanting, “Uranus is gaseous!”

Yes, it’s tough duty on the home front, but you men out there can learn to master it. Oh, there will be days when you long for a necktie and a cubicle. Or, at least, a watercooler. But if you work hard and pay attention, you can become a model househusband, one your wi fe can show off with pride a t office parties. Women will ooh and aall when you flex your knowledge of stain removers. Other men will envy your tan. And the rest of the time, you can be a hermit, a woolly denizen of Greater Sweatpantsia.

I’ve worked at home for more than five years now, and I’ve learned about plumbing and taxes and laundry and roofing tar. I’ve learned how to handle the stress of working alone, setting my own goals, keeping the household together and the kids out of the emergency room.